I am no Mario - We all know Mario is cool as Fuck. When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind.

I am no Mario. No, I strive for more! I work to preserve the Turts the Oppulent Mario has left behind - Perchance by doing so, I'll gain fame as legendary as the mystical (non-existent) Dr. Pepper.